another moral hangover. fuck.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
