what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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