Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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