Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
