The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
