Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just cropdusted the office
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize