Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
