id be glad to
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize