I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
When did angry sex become our thing?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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