i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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