I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i dont even know how to be here
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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