HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
