why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
