I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
