What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Shame - the story of my life.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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