He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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