I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
