She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
