D3 body, D1 cock
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
