He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
