Someone shit on the floor
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just found a bag of teeth...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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