honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
