Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
