There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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