I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
