I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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