I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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