I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
His hands were made for my vagina.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
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