I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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