This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
