sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
