Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
