did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
