She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
