dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
