Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
