honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize