I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
