if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
