Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
