I heard we made out
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
