I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
