Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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