So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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