It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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