May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
