; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
How's work?
Spinning.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
