Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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