so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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