Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
