Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
