The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
