you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Vodka?
Forever.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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