Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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