kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
