brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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