May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
