is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
