I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
