i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
there is puke in my bra ... again
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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