Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
