If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
