i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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