I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
