I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
