Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
