There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
