Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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