I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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